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Thursday, July 03, 2014

Oh my past

When I take a look back...my previous post. Oh,dude... Its so boring. And I realized that there is no pic of me and my ex. Well, its good one rite?

There is one post when I read it back make me smile like crazy. Oh I missed that moment. Which is you care about me. You keep telling me that you love me.

Well, past is past. I can rewind it back, so the best solution is move on. I move on and doing my best for my future.

Admit that I can't except anyone else yet. The hurt is break, but its also heals. Yeah, I guess so. I'll say it completely heals after I can accept someone else in my life.

The good things is I can accept the fact that you is happy with/without someone else. Who knows? Right?

Monday, June 02, 2014

My First Car

My first car!

Actually it's too expensive for me hahahaha cause I just started my career and I bought an expensive car.

After all, there is a reason why I bought that car. The true is I'm falling in love with my first car. Can you imagine? Falling in love with a car. CAR oke. Bukan benda hidup tu haha

Well, I love to drive my car. Smooth. Nice. Comfortable and the tech is awesome. Huhuhu.....

For those who want to buy your first car. I recommend you guys not to buy expensive car like me. (T_T) definitely you will become like me.

Every month, first think that I'll pay is my car and ptptn. Then, I'm crying so loud out. This is killing me. Waaaaaaaaa......

And then, you need to keep the money for his maintenance and blablabla... Fortunately, my car's service is free for 3 years which means I'm saving almost 1500++ for 3 years. Wuhuuuuu....
Better la than nothing kan hahahahahaha

I'm satisfied with my first car. Cause I love travelling and yeah, hanya mampu travel dalam malaysia je and semenanjung malaysia je. InsyaAllah next maybe somewhere that I really want to go. Amin.

Plus, my hometown kan dekat perlis so okelah tu nak travel dengan that car. And I love to drive by myself wherever I want to go. For example, last week my mom comes to my sis's house so after office hour I decided to go there and just shot pegi je hahahahaha like that la. Unpredictable is me so langgar jela nak pegi mana pun.

Muahahahahahahaha so what's my first car?

Jengjengjeng!!!!!!!!

Okey (T_T) actually dah terbuang gambar buah hati sendiri. Uhuk

So my first car is SUPRIMA S!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA yeah kereta buatan malaysia and it's expensive and everyone bising why this and why that and I was like... I'm the one who pay for this car... Hurrrrrrr

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Hypoycemia and Insomnia

Ntah lah. Tak tau apa nak jadi dengan aku.... Insomnia lah, selamatlah sekarang dah okey dah. Rupenya ada lak hypoglycemia.

Tak penat ke asek sakit je? Dah kalau Allah yang bagi sebagai ujian, kenapa kau nak persoalkan?

Anxiety
Blurred vision
Tiredness
Shakiness
Nightmares
Sleepiness
Depression
And soon

Memang pun cepat penat sekarang ni. Shaking menjadi jadi. Anxiety jgn ckp lah. Mengaku gak lah memang jarang minum air manis. Mslhnya aku mkn je gak coklat and gula2. Tp wowwww cadbury ak mmg xmkn. Ke betul ke idok ejaan ak pn xsure hahahaha....

Since da keje, oh tak, since da single ak mmg dgn seriusnya berdiet and kalau blh xnk snth mknn manis sgt tp ni lak yg jd. Pdhl pnh je sblm ni pengsan sbb apa xtau hahaha xg check pn.

Since keje pn mmg jrg la mnum air manis, minum susu tu selalu gak la. Air bliss pn manis apa. Xfhm betul lah aku. Tapi yg pastinya ak lbh minum air masak ja. And kalau da terasa badan da penat sangat baru p cari ayaq manis. Yg mmg manis teruih oooo gluppp sekaligus nk kasi okey cepat muahahahahaha....

Tapi jagalah kesihatan diri. Amk supplement sume. Kau da keje penat2 kot ummu. Please lah!

Monday, May 19, 2014

My job. My career.

Sometimes I feels like wanna shoot myself with gun. Omo.... Actually, it's easy for me to forgive, but not to forget. I still can't let him go. How lah?

Dush3.... Bdw, I didn't update a lot about my job and didn't share it with anyone. Cause why? I still under probation period, that 's why lah hahahhhaha....

My first career as engineer is good, not bad lah. Starting as engineer III, the salary is good and environment here hmmmm bolehlah~~~~

What do you expect me to be when I need to work with a guys around me? Hahahaha don't get angry with me when sometimes I act like a guy or the way I talk is like 'hoi, cri gaduh ka?'

Don't blame me but blame them (>_<") I need to defend myself sometimes when everyone around me keeps on pushing me and blablablabla.....

I want to share my experience about my first car but maybe in next post. One minute left before the bell ring and need to attend morning meeting.

See you guys later. Bai.

Friday, May 09, 2014

Somehow....

How much I wish......I can turn back time and change everything. But it is so impossible. Allah has a better plan for me.
Somehow I learn how to be strong after you being rejected.
Somehow I learn how to say nicely to someone who like me. I'm sorry for not being able to love you back. It's just that I become too defensive after what happened. And I don't want you to feel the same way like I feel.
Somehow I manage to say this two words whenever I want to cry and whenever I miss someone, 'I'm okey.'
Somehow I learn how to stay strong when I miss someone so badly. And all those memories keep playing in my eyes.
What can I say, you give so much impact on me. And I still learn how to move on. How to accept other guy in my life. I won't accept a guy that will reminds me about you, that's totally not fair for that guy.
Somehow, deep in my heart, I wish you know how much you mean to my world. But somehow, you did not see it.
Another half of me....suddenly gone. Someone take it away from me. And I'm searching it back. I asked Allah to give me a strength to face it. And I'll waiting for my other half.
After all, I'm feel sorry for you cause I can't love you back. How much I wish I can turn back time and stay with him and not hurting you like now.
You're a good guy, and you can find someone who deserve you better.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Weekendddddd dude

Pagi2 mak kol...part bestnya terdengar mak cakap

Mom: Kokmu keje kot. Tu yg xangkt tu. (Ni mmg mak tak perasan ak dah angkat fon)
Me: Hello mak. (Suara mamai serak basah habislah)
Mom: Ya Allah, tido ka? Anak dara apa ni xbangun lagi. Semalam hbs dinner kul bape?
Me: 10 mak.

Blablabla.......

Mak xtau anak dia gi tgk wayang dengan ofismate semalam smpai kul 2 lebih (>_<) ampun mak.

After dat bangun on fon celcom and full with miscall. Aiyakkk.... My both fon full with miscall from mom n angah. Always like dat. And I love it.

Ouch sakit kepala. Can I cont tido? Its weekend and tak ot ari ni. And beb, its weekend. Means take a rest.

Nak keluar tapi dah rasa bosan dengan shopping mall dkt kl. Coz not my style nk havoc dkt sini. Much better pegi tmpt biasa2 and shopping. Hati lebih tenang and save more money.

Hey, zaman sekarang ni gaji 2500-2700 for fresh gtaduate belum tentu cukup tau. So saving selagi boleh.

Make a list, which one you need and which one yg korg rasa hati korg je yg perlu. Jgn ikt perasaan nnti binasa.

Pesanan ikhlas dari yang belajar selok belok pengurusan kewangan dari ofismate. Sekian.

Engineer pn kedekut. Korang tau x?

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Oh. Like that.

Do you want me to remind you again?
The reason why I leave you?
Oh
Do you want me to remind you about the last mesej you give to me?
Oh
Do you want me to recall how much you have hurts me?

Oh

1000 langkah kau menjauhi aku,
Sejuta langkah aku pergi dari hidup kau.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

For my future bakal imam/soulmate/l

Dear bakal imam,

I dunno where you are now. But for sure one day, kita akan berjumpa juga. Cuma masanya belum tiba. I really hope awak tak muncul dalam masa terdekat ini. Coz I might hurts you wit my words and attitude. And I might run away from you and never let you come near to me.

Dear bakal imam,

I'm in the middle of recover stage. Someone hurts me so bad. And its take times to heal. Plus, I needs to repair my relationship with my Creator first.

Dear bakal imam,

My words right now could make you feels like I'm a bad girl. Coz I totally hate a guy who make promise and then breaks it. So mybe I dont believe any single words that you say to me.

One day, you will know dat I'm not dat type of girl who love to go out with a strangers or easily go out with any guys.

Dear bakal imam,

I believe in faith. InsyaAllah, one day I will find you and you will open my heart again and make me believe dat loving someone doesnt means dat I'll getting hurt.

Or maybe right now I already hurts you wit my attitude, I'm sorry. I hope you will understand that I needs time for myself. For me to understand that not all guys will break his promises.

Allah knows when the best time for you to come into my life. By that time, I hope that cinta awak pada Allah melebihi cinta awak pada saya. Dan awak menyayangi saya kerana Allah. InsyaAllah.

Dear bakal imam,

Terima saya seadanya dan saya terima awak seadanya. Dan perbaiki diri bersama. Wherever you are now, I'm waiting for you. Waiting for right time for you to come into my life.

For my future bakal imam/soulmate/l

Dear bakal imam,

I dunno where you are now. But for sure one day, kita akan berjumpa juga. Cuma masanya belum tiba. I really hope awak tak muncul dalam masa terdekat ini. Coz I might hurts you wit my words and attitude. And I might run away from you and never let you come near to me.

Dear bakal imam,

I'm in the middle of recover stage. Someone hurts me so bad. And its take times to heal. Plus, I needs to repair my relationship with my Creator first.

Dear bakal imam,

My words right now could make you feels like I'm a bad girl. Coz I totally hate a guy who make promise and then breaks it. So mybe I dont believe any single words that you say to me.

One day, you will know dat I'm not dat type of girl who love to go out with a strangers or easily go out with any guys.

Dear bakal imam,

I believe in faith. InsyaAllah, one day I will find you and you will open my heart again and make me believe dat loving someone doesnt means dat I'll getting hurt.

Or maybe right now I already hurts you wit my attitude, I'm sorry. I hope you will understand that I needs time for myself. For me to understand that not all guys will break his promises.

Allah knows when the best time for you to come into my life. By that time, I hope that cinta awak pada Allah melebihi cinta awak pada saya. Dan awak menyayangi saya kerana Allah. InsyaAllah.

Dear bakal imam,

Terima saya seadanya dan saya terima awak seadanya. Dan perbaiki diri bersama. Wherever you are now, I'm waiting for you. Waiting for right time for you to come into my life.

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Full of love

Dunia kerja ni memang lain banyk dari dunia belajar. Everyday belajar benda aru yang kau memang xbelajar waktu belajar dulu hah gitu......

I love my first job as an engineer III. Suka dengan environment dekat sini. Semuanya okey lah. Have fun sangat dekat sini. Lama2 dekat sini memang mcm kurang la 'kurang' nk betui sikit.

Surrounding guys, perempuan sikit je dlm dept ni. Plus...nk survive dekat sini memang kena belajar tepis segala gosip, belajar bahan orang semula and most important ialah belajar nak balas secara elok and cermat bila kena dengan dorang ni.... The rest I love being here.

Improve skill la lebih kurang. Njoy ur work yg plg penting. Habis je waktu kerja jangan fikir dah pasal kerja. Tapi selalunya pun balik kerja da lambat, sampai rumah fikir nk mandi solat tido je (T_T) uhuk uhuk uhuk....

Xdelah nk seksa badan. Cumanya elakkan diri dari fikir benda yang xsepatutnya. Orang lain tak rasa apa yang kita rasa, orang lain xtau apa yang kita lalui and org lain xtau apa yang kita fikir... So jangan terlalu fikirkan tentang apa yang org lain nak ckp kn, just move on. One day, dorang akan tau juga.

Life memang mcm ni, Allah tak janjikan kehidupan dekat dunia ni akan senang tanpa sebarang ujian kan... So move on. Believe in His faith. Janji Dia tu benar, dan Dia tak pernah kecewakan hati hambaNya, malah sebaliknya.

See ada hikmah tau, aku lebih dekat dengan pencipta aku. Lebih percaya dan yakin dengan ketentuanNya, jalan yang dah Dia tentukan untuk aku... Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah... Dia bagi aku kerja yang bagus, tempat kerja yang selesa, kereta yang selesa. The rest??? Let Him decide for me.

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Dreams

In my dreams, I saw us. Both of us happy together. You fights for us. Just in my dreams. You try to put all effort just to be with me. Just in my dreams. And now I love to sleep, just to meet you in my dreams.

No more insomnia. No more afraid to sleep at night cause afraid of losing you even in my dreams.

Someone try to make me happy and he did it. Somehow, deep in my heart, I still miss you, miss our moments. And Allah knows everything, He knows what the best for us.

I keep myself busy with all those work. When night comes, I fall to sleep too early.

Once in my life, I lose my dad. And I still alive and cont my life for my mom and my siblings. When I lose you, I reminds myself, I still have my mom, my siblings and my friends. Allah never leave me. He always with me whenever I lose hope. Give me the strength and guide me back to the right paths.

In my dreams, you didn't leave me but you comes back to me.

Confession

I admit it....rindu bila watsapp masuk dri a*** m****. But I know.... Its so impossible. I miss dat moment.

Sedar semua tu tak mungkin kembali. Tau mana berdirinya aku saat ni.

Thursday, April 03, 2014

I miss someone
I love someone
I want him in my life

Bila kita lepaskan seseorang dari dalam hidup kita, tak bermakna kita tak sayang. Tapi kita nak tengok dia bahagia dengan pilihan dia.

Hati mana yang tak terluka teruk. Hati mana yang tak berdarah.

Melepaskan orang yang dia sayang. Memerlukan kekuatan tuk melepaskan.

Saya bahagia melihat awak bahagia.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Past and present

A lot of thing happened. And this is it. Deep inside my heart. I dunno when and how....but for sure, he leaves me with all pain and scar. Till when? Dun ask me dat quest.

Someone broke the promise.
Someone make me so deep in pain
Someone forget about everything and leaves me w/o even try to save it.

I still survive. Cont my life as normal. Acting like I'm strong enuf. Thank you to dat someone. The one who I gave my trust. Dun u ever dare say dat I just walk away from ur life. U know better why....